· Acts 1:15-17, 21-26
· Psalm 1 (6)
· 1 John 5:9-13
· John 17:6-19
The good news is, God is a forgiving God and we are a forgiven people.
Actually, that's not what I meant to say. I was gonna say, the good news is, the renos upstairs are complete. The bad news is, new tenants moved in. They throw their cigarette butts and garbage over the balcony and party fairly constantly. After five days in the place, they came up with the idea of throwing beer bottles into the street. From the ninth floor. Naturally, I called the RCMP. Two hours later, I called the RCMP again because the new tenants were puking over the railing onto the balconies below.
Charming, isn't it? But that's not all! The woman found out that I was the one calling the RCMP, found me on Facebook, and threatened to charge me with harassment if I called the RCMP again. Well, I'd like to see her try. I reported that part to the landlord. But the funny thing is, in her Facebook message, she claimed that there had been no throwing of bottles or throwing up from her apartment. Which is funny because not only were there eyewitnesses, but she had been yelling her name from her balcony to friends on the street.
You see, it's very difficult for people to do something that they know is wrong, but it's very easy for people to lie to themselves about having done something wrong. Drunken antics look hilarious to a drunk; being called on it while sober is embarrassing, so one makes up a lie. And one believes the lie. Research about lying shows that our decisions about how much to cheat and lie are not really based on ethics or on cost-benefit analysis. It's actually a benefits to self-esteem analysis. We screw our neighbour to the greatest extent that we can reconcile with thinking of ourselves as wonderful people. And we lie to cover up the things we know we shouldn't have done. Not even for fear of consequences, but to hide from ourselves the fact that we're douchebags. And yes, research also shows that we truly do believe our own lies.
What does this have to do with today's lectionary?
It has to do with Judas. Judas did something that he couldn't reconcile with his self-image. He couldn't lie to himself enough to believe that yes, it was the right thing to betray his buddy for thirty pieces of silver, and that he was a great guy for having done it. He couldn't lie to himself enough to believe he hadn't done it. He was a traitor, yes, but ultimately, he had enough integrity to know that he had done something terribly wrong. Then he killed himself.
I find Judas very interesting, you see. He's a rather mysterious character. We don't know his background. We don't know his motivations. He never speaks, except at the last supper. Judas never has a voice, because his story was written by people who hated him. And yet, there had to be a reason for what he did. We always have reasons. Did he need the money for something? Did Jesus offend him in some way? Did the priests have some way to put pressure on him? The gospel says that Judas went to them and asked for money to betray Jesus, but seriously, how would anyone know? Do you think Judas told the other apostles? Obviously not. Do you think the priests told the apostles? Also not. Or they may have put out a story that Judas initiated the contact, because it would look bad on Jesus's ministry. But I doubt it. I doubt they put out any official press release of what happened. I think the survivors made up this part of the story.
And you know what else? Other than Jesus, Judas is the only character in the gospel who's really necessary. He's the one who fulfills the prophecy. John the Baptist was handy, yes, started the ministry of repentance, nice tie-in to parts of the prophets, great. But Jesus would have been immersed sooner or later anyway, by some Levite or other. It didn't need to be John. Peter, John and Andrew? Oh yes, they always get a central role, especially Peter. But why? How about, because they're the ones who wrote the story? Peter and John were the ones who apparently did most of the early teaching and writing; consequently, they've written themselves a special place in the story. Did they actually have a special place in the story? Perhaps. No way to know. But consider this: Andrew wasn't one of the ones doing the teaching and writing, he never opens his mouth, and yet he gets counted as one of the top tier. Why, if not for the fact that he was Peter's brother and Peter wrote the story?
In the early church, by the way, Peter and Paul were at loggerheads, so from a church-political point of view, it was rather useful for Peter to have himself represented as Jesus's closest, bestest buddy. Was that actually true? Didn't Peter deny Jesus three times? And not kill himself?
Judas betrayed Jesus once and killed himself. Peter denies Jesus three times, goes home for a while, comes back and positions himself at the head of the ministry. That's rather slimy, if you ask me. But I digress. The point is, Peter, John, Andrew, Paul, any of them, could have never been there at all. Some of twelve, in fact, are barely mentioned. Like Thaddaeus. What did Thaddaeus ever actually do? Nothing that got written into the gospel. Because really, none of those guys did anything that was necessary. Not Peter, not Thomas, not Simon the Cananaean.
But Judas did something. Judas did something that had to be done and that no one wanted to do. John the Baptist died for his ministry, Jesus died for his ministry, Peter, Paul, countless martyrs died for their ministry. They died for what they believed was good and true and right. Judas did the wrong thing, knew it was the wrong thing, and killed himself for it. Judas was not martyred. Judas did not get a heroic death. Judas died alone and desperate, by his own hand. No glory for him. No comfort. And yet he's the one who made himself useful. He's the one who fulfilled the prophecy.
Someone had to betray Jesus. There was no need for some guy to walk on water and then fall in. But there was a need of someone to betray Jesus. It was a dirty, stressful, traumatic job, and someone had to do it. Judas did it, and then killed himself.
You know what I think? Remember when Jesus says to the second thief, "truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise"? I believe he would have said the same to Judas. I believe Judas is there with Jesus. I believe Judas is at Jesus's right hand. Do you not think Jesus forgave Judas first of all? Of course he did. Judas did what had to be done. Was it wrong? How can it be wrong if it was needed to fulfil the prophecy? Do you not think that Judas was chosen to do that dirty job, and that he was the first to be healed and made whole of the harm it did him? Do you not think Judas repented, more sincerely that any of us has ever repented our sins?
I believe he did. I believe Judas suffered the most of the apostles. He was called, and he was called not to preach the gospel to the nations, but to fulfil the prophecy and be despised of men. And this sat so heavily on him that he couldn't live with himself. Judas, I believe, obeyed a call as certainly as Jesus did, and I believe he suffered more than Jesus. He suffered alone, not in the knowledge of the resurrection and eternal glory, but believing himself to be unworthy and damned forever. And yet he suffered for the same purpose as Jesus: to earn the grace that saves and redeems us.
We could say that Judas, not Paul, was really [SQG] "chiefest of sinners". And for that reason, he is the first to be saved and forgiven. Indeed when we remember that "the first will be last", does it not tell us that Judas, the last among the apostles, the fallen one, is indeed the first in his achievements, and the first in Christ's love and forgiveness?
I think so.
Praise be to God, the Judge, the Equitable, the Knower of subtleties, the All-Aware, the Forbearing .
No comments:
Post a Comment