· Isaiah 40:21-31
· Psalm 147:1-11, 20c (3)
· 1 Corinthians 9:16-23
· Mark 1:29-39
Sometimes you read the lectionary and you're like "wow, this is giving me such amazing insights! I feel so much closer to God! It's like being totally high!" And then sometimes you read the lectionary and you're like... "so? Your point being?" To me, this is one of the latter lectionaries. I read it and then I'm like "so, what about that Greek bailout then?" So rather than preaching you an uninspired sermon, I'm going to read you from two books, one that I just finished reading, and one that I'm currently reading.
The first book is called Made for Goodness, by Archbishop Tutu, who needs no introduction.
The parable of the lost sheep underlines God's love for the sinner even more than the parable of the prodigal son. In the latter story God waits. ... The parable of the lost sheep is different. In that story God goes out after the lost sheep. There is no hint that the sheep plans to return. In fact, the lost sheep is intent on going away. The good shepherd leaves his ninety-nine perfectly well-behaved sheep to set out in search of the lost one. ... God leaves the saints to go in search of the sinner.
... God's behavior, seeking out the sinner, undermines our notion of right and wrong. That the shepherd would abandon the obedient sheep to go and hunt for the recalcitrant one makes it seem to us that right and wrong do not matter.
Now the lost sheep has always been one of my favourite parables – that and the banquet. But when I read this I was reminded of another book, Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. The protagonist sees himself and his peers as "God's middle children" and posits that like many middle children, he'd rather get negative attention through bad behaviour than no attention at all. Then I felt like acting up to make God pay attention to me.
Next up, I started reading In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, by Dr. Gabor Maté. This is a book about what he learned in his work as the staff physician for a residence and harm reduction facility for "unhousable" people in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. This excerpt is a woman named Serena recounting her life after the death of her grandmother in Kelowna.
"She was sixty-five. She raised me, from when my mother delivered me and left the hospital right away. The social worker had to phone my grandmother and tell her that if she didn't come and sign papers, I'd be put into a foster home.
"Then she raised my daughter from a year old." Serena has a child, now fourteen years old, born to her when she herself was fifteen. Serena's mother ... was sixteen when she abandoned her newborn. "(My daughter) is with my Aunt Gladys (now). I guess she's doing all right. After my grandmother died, she started getting into speed and everything like that...
"She raised me; she raised my brother Caleb and my sister Devona – my first cousins, actually, but we grew up like brothers and sisters.
"She gave me a perfect home – until I left to find my mother. That's how I came down here, to look for my mom. ... I had my daughter when I was fifteen. He was my auntie's boyfriend, whatever. He was molesting me and if I said anything, he vowed to beat my auntie. ... I was fifteen years old when I came down here to Hastings. ... I had five hundred dollars in my pocket I'd saved for food until I caught up with my mom. It took me a week to find her. I had about four hundred bucks left. When she found that out, she stuck a needle in my arm. The four hundred dollars was gone in four hours. ... And then she sold me to a fucking big fat huge motherfucker while I was sleeping.
"I'm not safe in Kelowna. I was molested by my uncle and my grandfather, and the drug is keeping me from thinking about what happened. ..." The sexual abuse began when Serena was seven years old and persisted until she gave birth to her child, at fifteen. ...
"I had to protect my brother and sister, too. I'd hide them in the basement with four or five bottles of baby food. They were still in diapers. When I was eleven years old, I tried to refuse my grandfather, but he said that if I didn't do exactly what he told me, he was going to do it to Caleb, too. Caleb was only eight then.
"(My grandmother) couldn't (protect us). She was drinking so much until she quit. She began drinking every morning. She was drinking until my daughter was born."
Years later, Caleb was killed – beaten and drowned by three cousins after a drinking bout. "I still have trouble believing my brother is dead, too. We were so close when we were kids. ...
"Me and my mom don't have a mother and daughter life. We live in the same building; we don't even see each other. She walks right by me. That hurts me large. I've tried everything. There's no point. I've tried so many years to see if my mom would get close to me. And the only time she gets close to me is if I have some dope or money in my pocket. It's the only time she'll say, 'Daughter, I love you.' The only time."
This is a sinner and a prostitute. Why does God care more about saving her than about all I do to serve him? Because she needs him a lot more. Because she deserves his love a lot more than I do, to heal her sufferings. Not in this life, probably, but in the next, she will sit right close to God. Why? Because she needs God to comfort her for what she's suffered, much more than I do. I used to date guys like that, back when I used to date. Guys who are addicted, violent, unreliable and dangerous. Die-hard sinners. Not quite the bottom of the barrel of sinners, because mine were still able to work. And people will say things like "what do you see in him?" or "why do you stay?" I did, because the brokenness in them is so visible, even to the naked, human eye, that you have to stay and give them what love you can. They simply need it so much. And if we can see this even as humans, how much more does God see the brokenness and the need to be loved?
This is why the sinners and the prostitutes are going into the Kingdom of Heaven ahead of us. They simply need the comfort of God's love that much more. It's also why we shouldn't sit on our hands and pray that God help our neighbour. God knows their need and will heal them in the end, but he will remember the times we could have done something and just walked on by and presumed to call his attention to the matter. And this is also why we shouldn't be bothering God with things we want him to do for us. Even when we are stressed and suffering, we are vastly better off than the lost sheep; so we should be thankful and let God attend to those who need him more.
And we certainly shouldn't act like middle children to get God to pay attention. Yes, I'd like God to come and help me. Right now. I'm stressed and things are not going well, and I feel hopeless, and I really wish God would get me a better job so I'd have some disposable income and collective bargaining. Maybe if I had a big temper tantrum and did some serious sinning, God would pay attention to me. But I'm one of the ninety-nine sheep, so the right thing to do is keep grazing the green pastures where God has put me, while he's off looking for the lost ones.
Praise be to God, the King , the Most Holy , the Bestower of peace , the Granter of security , the Protector.
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